her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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