I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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