it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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