I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
