I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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