plz talk dirty to me
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
