THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize