Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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