rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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