Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
