Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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