They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
