girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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