So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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