clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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