How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
