who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
