I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
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