just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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