So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
