awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
