if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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