did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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