You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
