Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
