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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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