okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she told me i tasted like america
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
