So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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