somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
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so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
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i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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