You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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