OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
