So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
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just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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