took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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