1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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