I need help removing her.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
