I can't watch pbs sober anymore
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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