I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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