And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
