Non-Jews are for practice
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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