theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
