I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
