Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
