Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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