If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
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And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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