apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
vagina is talking i cant
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
