we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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