I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
