FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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