i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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