Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
