I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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