Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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