she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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