Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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