Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??

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  (512): my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college?? http://tfl.nu/kvis
  Replies (62) Good night (3947) Bad night (622)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.

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  (330): That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us. http://tfl.nu/w7wx
  Replies (16) Good night (3476) Bad night (820)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.

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  (660): i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again. http://tfl.nu/1pik
  Replies (17) Good night (892) Bad night (4479)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.

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  (970): Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month. http://tfl.nu/7dyi
  Replies (29) Good night (15047) Bad night (1250)
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  (562): View more from California

  even your uterus rejects him.

  (1-562): View more from California

  apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.

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  (562): even your uterus rejects him. (1-562): apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body. http://tfl.nu/g0cm
  Replies (7) Good night (5413) Bad night (1238)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.

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  (713): Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success. http://tfl.nu/wlhs
  Replies (9) Good night (5513) Bad night (978)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.

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  (330): Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/41un
  Replies (5) Good night (2221) Bad night (1070)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.

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  (905): Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up. http://tfl.nu/c9v7
  Replies (9) Good night (873) Bad night (3247)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions

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  (717): I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions http://tfl.nu/aecl
  Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (576)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere

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  (208): Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere http://tfl.nu/5ite
  Replies (4) Good night (1318) Bad night (641)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?

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  (412): I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask? http://tfl.nu/ymvc
  Replies (10) Good night (1425) Bad night (880)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.

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  (406): I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners. http://tfl.nu/nx0p
  Replies (0) Good night (743) Bad night (377)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka

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  (201): I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka http://tfl.nu/upfv
  Replies (4) Good night (352) Bad night (676)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs

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  (217): 2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs http://tfl.nu/f8qu
  Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (286)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood

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  (971): I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood http://tfl.nu/1kq9
  Replies (0) Good night (535) Bad night (173)

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