I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.