Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.

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  (415): Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel. http://tfl.nu/yxi6
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (589)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut

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  (507): there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/7k06
  Replies (40) Good night (5909) Bad night (1054)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.

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  (319): Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up. http://tfl.nu/ktvf
  Replies (17) Good night (5188) Bad night (968)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.

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  (757): I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love. http://tfl.nu/nlvg
  Replies (13) Good night (5626) Bad night (1352)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  Where the hell are you

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He's winning.

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  (706): I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon. (1-706): Where the hell are you (706): He's winning. http://tfl.nu/bx2u
  Replies (23) Good night (5889) Bad night (1305)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window

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  (585): Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window http://tfl.nu/p9te
  Replies (4) Good night (703) Bad night (928)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.

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  (903): He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/oox7
  Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (429)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun

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  (847): Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun http://tfl.nu/7pg6
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (593)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up

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  (248): I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up http://tfl.nu/z2m0
  Replies (2) Good night (649) Bad night (426)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later

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  (587): You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later http://tfl.nu/y2r0
  Replies (6) Good night (1099) Bad night (389)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think that would solve a million problems

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  (774): I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining (508): I think that would solve a million problems http://tfl.nu/0h1f
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (357)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".

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  (239): Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up". http://tfl.nu/fu9d
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...

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  (+44): She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me... http://tfl.nu/3kns
  Replies (8) Good night (522) Bad night (377)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?

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  (416): I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right? http://tfl.nu/2ijg
  Replies (1) Good night (293) Bad night (336)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted

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  (734): he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted http://tfl.nu/3ywr
  Replies (2) Good night (170) Bad night (493)

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