I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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