love makes seman taste better
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.