last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls