Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
